The One Where Everything Is Clear
by Amy006
Summary: This is my own version of TOW Ross Is Fine. What if Rachel had realized she'd made a huge mistake with the help of Ross? What would that mean for her and Joey? Or for her and Ross? Read and review.


This is my very first fanfic. I've been wanting to give it a go for a long time, but I never thought I was good enough. I finally decided to do it now before giving up completely. Basically, this is my idea of how things should have gone in TOW Ross is Fine. It still didn't quite turn out like I wanted, but you gotta start somewhere ;). Also, English is not my main language, so there might be a few mistakes. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it and please, drop me a review! Thanks, and happy reading!

The One Where Everything Is Clear

Ding!

Rachel and Joey were standing in Ross's living room, ready to go back to their apartment, when the oven timer had interrupted the uncomfortable silence that filled the room.

"I don't even know what that's for!", said Ross still completely wasted on the many margaritas he's had to drown his shock of this new reality that had hit him like a ton of bricks.

_Joey and Rachel were together. _

Ross always thought he would never feel worse than when Joey told him he had feelings for Rachel and he had to consider the possibility that she could be in the same place. But this was a million times worse. This time, Rachel _did_ returned the feelings. He couldn't just imagine what would happen anymore, it was right there in his face.

Ross went back in the kitchen to check on whatever what was in the oven and Joey and Rachel were left alone, worried about his reaction.

"You know what, Joey, I don't think he's ever gonna be okay with this.", Rachel said.

"It doesn't look good, does it?", Joey retorted with obvious concern in his voice. "Look, maybe we should just let him rest and talk about everything tomorrow."

Rachel thought about it for a moment and replied,

"Huh, you know what Joe, I think I'm gonna stay for a while to make sure he's okay."

Joey felt a pang of jealousy in his chest. He knew that Rachel was doing the right thing, but he couldn't shake the thought that she still had some feelings for Ross somehow.

"Oh, okay, I'll…I'll see you later then."

He kissed her on the cheek and left the apartment, now fully aware that they wouldn't last much longer. Surprisingly, he felt somewhat relieved at that thought. He wouldn't have to feel guilty about Ross anymore and honestly, when he really thought about him and Rachel, he couldn't picture them being together forever. He realized that the feelings he had for Rachel in the past only returned because she finally showed interest in him after rejecting him before. They were phantom feelings.

Inside Ross's apartment, Rachel hesitated before entering the kitchen and was surprised to find Ross asleep at the counter with a plate of cookies in his hands. If it wasn't such an awkward situation, she would have laughed at the sight.

"At least, he put oven mitts on this time", she thought.

She gently tapped him on the shoulder, trying to wake him up.

"Ross, wake up." After a few seconds, Ross lifted his head.

"Huh? Rach, what…What are you still doing here? You should be with Joey."

_You should be with Joey._

Ross hadn't thought how much this one sentence would hurt him until he said it out loud.

" I stayed to check on you Ross. I wanna make sure you're alright.", Rachel answered softly.

"That's nice Rachel, but really, you didn't have to, I'm…I'm fine.", Ross said, trying to sound casual.

"Ross, you can lie to Charlie or even to Joey, but you can't lie to me. I know you're not fine with this."

"No Rach, really I'm fine, I-" Ross cut himself when he almost lost his balance, trying to stand up. "Okay, maybe I'm not."

"You know what, we should talk tomorrow when you're feeling better."

Rachel helped Ross to his room and returned to sit on the couch. She was lost in thoughts. She didn't even know what she would tell him to explain how she ended up with his best friend after reassuring him a few months ago that she never wanted to be with him, after the proposal incident took place. Exhausted by the long day and even longer evening she had, her eyelids became heavier and she lied down on the couch, succumbing to slumber.

The next morning, Ross woke up with a huge hangover and noticed he was still wearing the same clothes. He tried to replay last night's events in his head and felt an uncomfortable sensation in his stomach as he remembered. He had hoped it was all just a bad dream and that everything was back to normal, but he knew it wasn't. Nothing would ever go back to normal again. His best friend and the woman he had loved for most of his life and with whom he had a child just a few months ago were dating. Ross couldn't figure out why that bothered him so much. After all, Rachel and him hadn't been a couple in six years and he was with Charlie. Still, it did bother him. Since the birth of Emma, he had always left open the possibility that him and Rachel could get back together, but now, his hopes had been crushed by her falling for someone whom Ross knew had deep feelings for her. Not wanting to think about that anymore, he got up and went to the kitchen.

On his way, he stopped when he saw Rachel reading on his couch.

"Rachel? You're still here?"

"Hum yeah, I just went back to my apartment to change before you woke up. I told you last night I would stay over remember?"

"No I don't, but again, I don't remember much about last night. I think I had a little too much margaritas." Ross let out an uncomfortable chuckle.

"I think you did, yeah.", Rachel said, forcing a smile.

An heavy silence followed and neither Ross or Rachel knew how to begin the inevitable conversation.

"Ross…I want to talk to you about-" Ross cut her, not quite ready to get into it yet.

"Can I just take a shower first? I'm not really presentable right now."

Rachel knew he was doing everything he could to delay the crucial moment.

"Huh, sure yeah, I'll just wait".

A few minutes later, Ross came back clean, wearing a grey sweater with a pair of jeans. He sat down on the chair, not feeling comfortable enough to sit close to Rachel after last night.

"So…"

Rachel decided it would be better to just go straight to the point.

"Ross, I wanted to talk to you about this whole situation."

Ross didn't really want to hear the details of how Rachel and Joey had become a couple, but he knew Rachel needed to explain.

"Okay", he said hesitantly.

"Well, first of all, you need to know that I didn't plan any of this okay, it happened so suddenly."

"Huh, huh." Ross was stoic.

"It started a few weeks ago, I began to see Joey differently and tried to brush it off. Then Barbados came and I told him about my feelings and at first, he said no because he didn't want to betray you. But then, he saw you kissing Charlie and thought it would be okay and…now here we are."

Rachel stopped to take a breath. She had said this really fast because she didn't think she could get it out if she took too long.

" Ross, I need to know that you're not mad, please. I couldn't stand the fact that you hate me."

"I don't hate you Rach. I couldn't even if I tried.", he admitted.

Rachel was deeply touched by Ross's words. He was handling this so well. She had expected him to be insanely jealous like he had been with Mark when they were dating. "He's really grown up", she thought. Little did she know he was dying inside.

"Can I just ask you something?"

"Of course."

"What is really going on between you and Joey? Is it…Are you in a relationship?"

Rachel was caught off guard. He had asked her the question that nobody had dared to ask her.

"Well…I don't know. It's kinda out of the blue, I mean… I haven't really thought about that yet."

Rachel realized how stupid that sounded. She had started something with a guy and she wasn't even sure of what she felt for him. She had never questioned herself about that. Now that she thought about it, she was even more confused. She knew for sure that she wasn't in love with Joey. She wasn't there yet. So what was she doing with him? She tried to go back to when it had all started.

"I know it began when I went to see him tape this big love scene for _Days of Our Lives_. That night, I dreamt that we were rehearsing the scene together and I wanted to kiss him. The day after, I talked to Monica about it and she said that I was probably just fantasizing about Drake Ramoray. I thought it made sense and kind of forgot about it, until I went home and Joey started freaking out because he had to shoot scenes of him being in love with this girl on the show. He said he was really nervous, because he wanted to make it convincing. Then, I told him that it should be easy because he had been in love before. And that's when he started telling me about how he felt when he was you know…in love with me."

Rachel stopped for a moment. She was entering an uncomfortable zone for both of them. She pulled herself together and continued.

"Anyway, he was telling me all these beautiful things and it got me even more confused, and-and I started to see him differently."

"I see." Ross said, trying not to show Rachel how much this was affecting him.

"From then on, I became jealous of Charlie because she was with him, then Barbados came and you know the rest."

"Are you happy with him?" That's all Ross wanted to know. He wanted to make sure she was really happy. That was the only way he could let her go for good.

"Well, he's a great guy and we have fun…"

Rachel was even more lost now. Having fun was not a good enough reason to get together with someone. Fun is something you experience with your friends. Being in a relationship required a lot more than fun, especially for a mother in her thirties. She remembered how she had broken up with Tag because she was past the age where she could just fool around. And now, she was even more mature, she had a child and here she was, doing the exact same thing she had felt too old for 3 years ago! It all made sense to her now. She had felt alone for a long time since her daughter had been born. She didn't have anybody and Joey was always so sweet with her and Emma. All those factors had lead her to believe that Joey could be the ideal guy for her. He was attractive, sweet, good with Emma and they already lived together. But there was a major problem: she simply didn't love him. She was absolutely certain that she didn't love him more than a friend. All she felt was a physical attraction. She didn't feel those butterflies in her stomach whenever she saw him and she didn't wake up in the middle of the night, wanting to just talk with him about their future like she had done with…Ross?

_Ross. _

The guy who had been in love with her for more than 10 years.

The guy who had pictured the next two decades of his life with her, when they'd been dating for only a month.

The guy that left so many girls just for her, even 5 years after their break-up.

_Ross._

The one who had probably hurt her more than anyone, but who had also loved her more than anyone.

The father of her child.

The guy who was now sitting in front of her.

"Ross, I'm sorry. I never meant for you to find out about it that way.", she sincerely apologized. She felt like she had hurt Ross even more than he could have hurt her. All because she had been too selfish to think about the consequences of her decisions. She hadn't considered how Ross would feel before acting on her impulse, yet he had not hesitated to stop dating when she asked him, while she was pregnant.

Ross avoided eye contact with her, not wanting her to see that she had, in fact, caused him pain.

Rachel seriously thought about what she going to say next. And she realized that she had known all along what was the right thing to do.

"I'm gonna break it off with Joey."

Ross was very surprised to hear that. Deep down, he couldn't help but feeling relieved, but he didn't want it to be because of him. He didn't want to be the reason why two of the most important people in his life were unhappy. He couldn't bear to live with that.

"But why? Don't do this because of me Rachel, because I couldn't forgive myself!"

"Ross, I'm doing this because of me okay? I know now that I don't love Joey like that. I never have. I was just really confused and I should never had given him false hope."

"But he's gonna be crushed! He loves you a lot you know.", Ross pointed out, even if it pained him to say it.

"I know and I'm mad at myself for leading him on, but I can't do that anymore. I have to be honest with him if I want to keep his friendship."

"I guess you're right."

"Well, I better go do it now then. I want things to be resolved as soon as possible."

She got up and walked to the door, but stopped and turned to face Ross. To his surprise, she moved closer to him and hugged him.

"Thank you Ross."

"For what?" He honestly didn't think he'd done that much to help her tonight.

"For asking me the right question. I got it all figured out now and it's because of you." She smiled sweetly at him.

"Huh well, you're welcome I guess…"

"You know, I miss us talking like that. We haven't really had a real good conversation since I moved out.", she admitted, a little sad.

"Yeah, it's been nice. Believe it or not, I'm happy we actually had this discussion.", he smiled back.

"Hey Ross, you wanna spend the day together with me and Emma tomorrow? We could take her to the park or something."

Ross was really happy to hear that. He missed Emma always being with him since Rachel wasn't living there anymore. And he missed her too, even if admitting it was scary.

"I would really love that Rach. Thank you."

"My pleasure." She teased.

With that, she opened the door and left, feeling like a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She still didn't know how she was going to handle things with Joey, but she was pretty confident that everything would turn out okay. For now, she just smiled at the thought of spending the next day with Emma and Ross.

_Like a family_.

What the future held, she didn't know, but she was seeing things much clearer now.


End file.
